Does anyone know how to stop a cat, in a kind way, from waking someone up at 5 a.m.? I have had some cats who did not do this, but six out of ten do. Everything else about cats I like except for this one trait. If I put Jeffrey in a room and close the door, he just goes out his pet window and around the house and up on the porch to meow under our window. He never gives up. He can always last longer than my nerves. Then I get up and feed him and he is fine, but boy, I would love to sleep from midnight to eight or nine in the morning. So please write to me, L. Muller, PO BOX 82, Cragsmoor, NY 12420, if you have a solution...and it has to be a nice one.

* * * I think this entire column will be about cats. I just got an ad in the mail for "Catnip," a newsletter from Tufts University Veterinary School of Medicine, about cats and their care. It tells about the types of cats and what their body language means as well as how to care for them.

Here are the breeds: Persian, Balinese, Maine Coon, Angorra, Somali, Siberian-all long haired, British Shorthair, Chartreuse, American shorthair, Manx, Siamese, Burmese, Bombay, Russian Blue and Abyssinian.

Apparently they are all companionable, except for British shorthair who is aloof and the Siamese is high-maintenance and does not like to be alone.

If a cat is annoyed his tail twitches, his ears flatten against his head and his whiskers are pulled tight against his face. Beware of that, because it could mean a bite.

A frightened cat does the Halloween thing; eyes wide open, hair on tail and back up and tail big with flat ears. Just the other day, a dog visitor had a taste of Jeff being frightened. He not only did the hair up, but I heard a blood-curdling yowl and saw the dog take off with tail between legs.

A sick cat will have his tail down, ears flattish, eyes half-closed, crouching, and may even purr loudly for a time. If your cat screams for no reason, he may be having a stroke and needs a doctor immediately.

As soon as I get my magazine, "Catnip," I will give you the answers to some of the following questions:

• Why do some cats hate it when you touch their backs? Steps to finding the 'escaped' indoor cat before he gets into trouble.
• When is your old cat ready for a senior diet? Is it dangerous for a cat to eat a poisoned mouse? Why do cats drink from the far side of a bowl? How does a vet pill a cat?
• Why is a cat unable sometimes to see a thing right in front of him?
• Do cats soil the house for spite?
• How to keep your cat off the table or counters?

Some of the questions I can answer myself.

Why do some cats drool when you pet them? If they were taken from the mother too soon, the petting is so comforting that it reminds them of when they were about to nurse and thus the salivary glands begin to work. Kittens who leave a mom before six weeks also tend to want to kneed or make biscuits more than other cats.

How many litter pans in a multi-cat household? One for each cat if you want them to stick to the program, and they need to be scooped every day.

The people-medicine never to give a cat is Tylenol or aspirin. I have seen first-hand Tylenol poisoning in a cat. That particular vet saved him, but it was touch and go. Until next week, have a beautiful and calm holiday, whatever it is.

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