Serving the Towns of Wawarsing, Crawford, Mamakating, Rochester and Shawangunk, and everything in between
THURSDAY, APRIL 30, 2009   
Vol 2.18   
Gutter
SporTalk

How embarrassing was the recent three-game sweep the Yankees suffered on their first trip of the season to Fenway Park? The Yankees blew leads in games one and two of the series and then lost game three when Red Sox speedster Jacoby Ellsbury stole home to conclude the newest version of the Boston Massacre. For the love of Fritz Peterson — we let a guy named "Jacoby" beat us! Babe Ruth must be turning over in his grave. Hank Steinbrenner can sell all the $2,500 seats he wants, but the Yankees are a major disappointment. Yeah, yeah, I know it's early, but if you are a true Yankee fan, can you tell me you have the confidence that Joe Girardi will fix this mess like you did when Joe Torre was sitting in the dugout with Don Zimmer at his side? Not only were the three loses tough to take because it was the hated Red Sox, but I happened to be in Plattsburgh for the weekend visiting my son Matt, who is playing baseball for my alma mater. Plattsburgh is located in what the locals call the "North Country," and there are many signs that intelligent life does not exist in the North Country. For starters, there are an inordinate number of Red Sox fans that inhabit the region. While it's true that Plattsburgh is closer to Fenway Park (296 miles) than it is to Yankee Stadium (311 miles), you would think that a person with average intellect would go the extra 15 miles. I mean, who wouldn't drive 15 miles past a McDonalds to eat steak at a really good restaurant? No, distance alone cannot account for such poor decision making by so many. Maybe it's the fact that Plattsburgh is so close to Canada. Really, who could be expected to make sound life-decisions living next to a country where the national sport is hockey? On the other hand, with Montreal being only 64 miles to the north, the people of Plattsburgh are only an hour away from Brador beer, Canada's finest export, with an alcohol content much higher than most American beers. So why is it that the Plattsburgh Walmart (which the last time I checked was still in New York) has more Red Sox items for sale than Yankees items? Maybe the extreme cold has affected the thought process of our friends in northern New York. Most meteorologists agree that the average summer in Plattsburgh is roughly 13 hours long. And despite the natural beauty of the Adirondacks, living in the frozen tundra may have affected the thought process of the residents. I think the real reason there are so many Red Sox fans up there is the simple fact that they are ticked off that they live so far from civilization. And like the little kid who throws a temper tantrum to get some attention, these "northerners" become Red Sox fans just to go against the norm, to screw with the establishment. All I know is I dread sitting at a ballgame in Plattsburgh and having some guy dressed in Red Sox gear from head to toe come up to me after the Yankees lose another game at Fenway and yell in my face, "How 'bout them Yankees?" It's enough to make a guy not want to shop at Walmart. And if by some chance Hank Steinbrenner subscribes to the Shawangunk Journal, I have just one question for him: "Hank, how 'bout them Yankees?"……….I suppose things could be worse. I could be a Mets fans. The "Mutts" have no respectable starting pitcher after Johan Santana and manager Jerry Manuel instills even less confidence than his cross-town counterpart, Joe Girardi. If it weren't for David Wright, the Mets would have no one worth watching. Maybe all the Mets fans could move to the North Country……….Locally, things are looking good for our Ellenville Blue Devils. The boys track team recently took second place at the Monticello Relays. Coach Phil Althouse and his team were edged out for the championship by Arlington High School, which has a student population just slightly smaller than the city of Chicago. Little Ellenville High School challenging the giants….the next time someone gives you a lame excuse why the Blue Devils can't compete athletically with other schools, let them know about the job our track team has done the last few years……….The 2009 N.F.L. Draft took place last week and I am having trouble remembering if I am a Cleveland Browns or a New York Jets fan. My confusion stems from the fact that first-year Browns coach Eric "Man Genius" Mangini is doing everything in his power to turn Cleveland into "Gang Green." The Brownies, courtesy of another lousy season, had the fifth overall pick in the draft. Pick number five should yield a starting player, but Mangini promptly traded the number five pick to, you guessed it, the Jets. It was nice of Mangini, who was given the "Man Genius" moniker after only one season with the Jets, to help his former team get U.S.C. quarterback Mark Sanchez. For their kindness, the Browns got three Jets players to be named later and the number 17 pick. Mangini quickly traded down again for the 19th pick. Apparently, Mangini was not going to be satisfied until he traded all the way down to the last possible pick in the draft because he also traded down again for the 21st pick. "Man Genius" must have been thinking that he could turn the Browns around by drafting last and getting the worst possible player on the board, but someone in the Browns organization must have stopped the madness because at pick number 21 — the Browns chose a center! I was overcome with joy knowing that despite all the problems the Browns have, we will now be able to snap the ball and start a play. They don't call Mangini a genius for nothing……….Finally, I have been telling my good friend Andy Walter that his Detroit Lions would never be good again until they took the black out of their uniforms and returned to the classic blue and silver colors of their glory days. Andy Walter is my good friend in part because his Detroit Lions are actually worse than my Cleveland Browns. The Lions had adopted black into their uniforms because black sells jerseys, even if gang members buy them. Lion great Alex Karras must be among the many happy fans to see the Lions return to their roots. Andy should see the Lions begin to win now but only after the Browns do. After all, the Lions coach is not a genius……….until next time!


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