I hate baseball. Okay, I don't really hate baseball but I do hate the Major League Baseball All-Star festivities. With all its forced pomp and circumstance, the All-Star program has become too much. It's overkill. The All-Star game itself has enough merit to stand alone and draw us to watch the "Mid-summer Classic," to watch some of our favorite players compete against other major league baseball stars. We don't need to see silly competitions and over promoted events that have little to do with the reason we tune in — to watch the All-Star game.

Here are the top reasons I hate the Major League Baseball All-Star extravaganza:

Kids. Okay, I don't really hate kids in general. I mean, I am a teacher and a coach — but I do hate kids in the outfield. Who the heck are all those kids running around the outfield during the Home Run Derby? Even in high definition T.V. they look like thousands of tiny ants running around aimlessly after someone has kicked over their ant hill. If they are player's kids then it might be reasonable to say that genetics does not always work. It appeared as though none of them could judge a fly ball and certainly no one was "calling" for the catch as is taught to every player who ever put on a Little League uniform. On every fly ball that stayed in the ballpark, twenty or so of these kids would blindly sprint to the ball and try to make a catch, most failing miserably. One of these little brats is going to get seriously injured one year and that will put an end to this annoying practice. Besides, the goal of the Home Run Derby is to hit homers. No one cares what happens to a 167-foot fly ball.

Chris Berman. I actually used to like Chris Berman. Of course, that was about four decades ago when Berman first came on the scene with his witty nicknames for players and his, "Back, back, back, back," description of long home runs. Berman's act has grown old and he sounds just as bad as the self-aggrandizing Yankees announcer John Sterling doing his home run calls. Berman was at his worst during the Home Run Derby when St. Louis Cardinals superstar Albert Pujols was batting. Berman would start his back, back, back call as soon as Pujols would swing. Berman would shriek, "It's a long home run, waaaaay back," despite the fact that the ball landed two rows into the right centerfield stands.

David Cook. Stan Musial played in 24 All-Star games and he never needed a musical act to liven up the All-Star game. David Cook (the American Idol winner with the horrible hair) sang prior to the Home Run Derby and his show included fire shooting up into the sky from equipment located behind the band. Stan "The Man" Musial didn't need pyrotechnics to get the crowd going. There was a time when the baseball was enough.

Kids (Part II). When exactly did it become popular for practically every All-Star to bring their kids to the All-Star festivities and let them hang out on the field? Albert Pujols is a great player but did we really need to see a shot of "Junior" Pujols high-fiving his buddies every time daddy hit a home run in the Home Run Derby? The players' kids should be in the stands where they belong.

All-Star Softball. I want to watch a real All-Star game, not the Taco Bell All-Star Legends and Celebrity Softball Game. This is self explanatory, but if you need more detailed info — two of the players involved in the softball game were rapper Nelly and hip-hop artist Chingy. For the love of baseball, Babe Ruth must be turning over in his grave. Chingy? Give me a break!

The 11th annual XM All-Star Futures Game. What the hell does this even mean? If I want to see "future" stars I will go to a Little League game. I don't need to see some 19 year old shortstop from the Batavia Muckdogs. I want to watch Derek Jeter.

Kids (Part III). Enough is enough already. One player had his son in his arms as he was standing along the baseline during pre-game introductions. We get it. The kid is cute. But there is no being cute in baseball! All this "Hey, look at me. I'm a dad" stuff reminds me of when former N.Y.C. Mayor Rudy Giuliani used to sit in the box seats next to the Yankees dugout during the World Series with his spoiled, chubby son Andrew. Andrew grew up to be one of the most detested members of the Duke University golf team and was eventually dismissed from the team by the coach. Of course, Andrew was spoiled so he promptly sued Duke University. Do the players want their kids to grow up like Andrew Giuliani? I think not.

The Home Run Derby. This event is one of the highest rated shows for ESPN. Good for them. But it was roughly two hours between when the first batter started the event until the final round. The Home Run Derby used to involve a very simple formula. You get X number of "outs" to hit as many home runs as you can. Any ball that does not leave the field in fair territory is an out. Every kid in America (except maybe Andrew Giuliani) has played Home Run Derby growing up. But in their efforts to "improve" the event, MLB has added rounds, tie-breakers, finals, and anything else they can do to prolong the derby and garner more television advertising monies. The event has become tedious. For the record, Milwaukee Brewers star Prince Fielder won this year's contest. But by that time, nobody cared. We were all just waiting for the "2009 Schick Players Kids versus Celebrities Hit, Throw and Run Close Shave Contest."

At least the second half of the baseball season has started and we don't have to suffer through this again until next year.