Alas, there may always be missing links in the chain of events that led to the July 26 Taconic Parkway crash, whereby eight people died and one more suffered serious injury. But provided we're open to learning from it, the tragic accident can have a lasting, positive impact on our way of life and the character of our relationships.

Crossing newswires nationwide, the Taconic crash heightened awareness to horrors lurking on our highways like never before. I, for one, want to drive home my belief that penalties for DUI (driving under the influence) — those for driving while texting or talking on wireless devices, too — need to be pushed to the sky. Not only for those with children under the age of 17 riding along — as the proposed Child Protection Act [S 40/A 3826] in New York would dictate — but for everyone at the wheel of a vehicle, accompanied by passengers or not.

As our newspapers highlight on a daily basis, someone driving while techno-distracted, or impaired by drugs/alcohol, is nothing but a front-page headline waiting to happen. Okay, we might smirk upon reading, "Police say drunk woman drives car into liquor store door." But the significance of "Wedding guest killed in DWI crash," "Drunk barely hurt in wreck, but pal dies," etc. is crystal clear. Innocent people of any age — bikers, pedestrians, passengers in the vehicle at fault, or those sitting like ducks in unsuspecting vehicles —can be killed or crippled in a heartbeat.

Naturally, prevention and aggressive enforcement of penalties for DUI and techno-distraction are crucial. With those objectives in mind, I thus support the use of breathalyzers to bar drunk drivers from starting their vehicles, as well as zero tolerance for repeat offenders.

I'd also like to see more programs applying a genuinely integrative (holistic) approach to lifestyle modification as a means of preventing and treating addictions of all kinds. Passengers furthermore need to minimize driver distraction, and to take action — better to be safe than sorry — if they suspect someone is unfit to drive.

But coupled with the passage and enforcement of more stringent laws, I propose American mores change, too. Society currently emits mixed messages regarding alcohol consumption. Despite all we know about its dangers, boozing persists as a pathetic rite of passage on our college campuses today. Despite what they may harp to their children, adults who use tech devices while driving demonstrate that doing so is perfectly acceptable.

Likewise close to home, take the restaurant that garners media attention, having finally received a liquor license. The owner is thrilled. But is his joy also cause for you or me to celebrate? Will the restaurateur guarantee that no one ever drives away from his establishment with a blood alcohol level above the safe limit? Is there a truly "safe limit," given that everyone's brain and body chemistry differs?

As idealistic as it might sound, I'd like to see more college students and mature adults opting to live alcohol-free. Ditto for backyard, as well as big-time, social events. Try it! Guaranteed you'll love it! Just imagine: guests would be themselves, rather than inebriate fools. And hangovers, beer- or vodka-breath? Begone! Besides, who says we have to hit the bottle — poisoning ourselves — to have a blast?

As is, there will always be DUI catastrophes, students binging or ODing their way to the morgue, babies born with alcohol- or drug-induced learning disabilities, patients dying from chronic alcohol- or drug-related disease, and adults dragging through life in dense fog, their brains destroyed by the well-documented cerebrotoxic effects of habituating substances.

Another important ramification of the Taconic crash is the need for romantic partners to tune into one another in a caring, emotionally intimate level. That is how it is meant to be, yet how many of us see or hear what pleases us, only to disregard the rest, where our partners are concerned? While members of some couples coexist for decades on totally different wavelengths, unfortunately there are also relationships where people treat their pets royally, but speak to a spouse as if he or she were an animal, if spoken to at all.

Ever since learning of the horrific crash, I've questioned the dynamics of the Schuler marriage. Granted husband and wife were all smiles at their wedding and in photos with their two children, but what about at other times? If a husband is aware his wife has a tooth abscess, should he not see that her and it are taken care of?

Added to what may have occurred over the years, had an episode transpired at the campground during that late July weekend that constituted the last straw in Diane's case? The last straw that then prompted a suicidal reaction on her part, much the way it has for those who have jumped from bridges or opted to end their lives by other means?

Regardless of whether Ms. Schuler was an inveterate alcoholic or druggie, she may well have been an abused, terribly troubled wife. A wife who couldn't tolerate the stress of marital discord and daily digs to her self-esteem any more, and who took her own life by drinking and smoking pot behind the wheel, instead of seeking help to improve her situation.

Certainly, why Ms. Schuler did what she did with children in her vehicle remains a mystery. But perhaps beneath her apparent willingness to care for all five youngsters on a frequent basis was resentment burning beyond belief.

Of course, like romantic partners, parents and children need to stay in synch, as well. Not with obtrusive, superficial text messages or phone calls, every minute of the day or night, but by interacting on a regular, meaningful basis, and by maintaining mutual trust and respect. Do you really know where your children are? Emotionally, nutritionally, and sexually, as well as in terms of their friends, studies, sleep patterns, driving habits, and Internet or TV-viewing?

Now a single parent, Daniel Schuler ought to be working on setting his priorities straight and resolving his own substance abuse/mental health issues. Rather than continuing to probe his wife's death in a desperate attempt to avert a civil lawsuit and alleviate his own sense of guilt and remorse, I pray he realizes that his five-year-old son — victim of severe brain and emotional trauma and sole survivor of the July 26 crash — is in dire need of a devoted, rock-solid father, and will be for a long, long time to come.

Meanwhile, it behooves the rest of us to remember that the people in our lives are precious. Moreover, they are anything but made of iron. Everyone — even the toughest of the so-called strong, silent type — has fears and feelings. Be it by physical assault, having our needs ignored, being the target of cruel words, or a combination of the above, we are each sensitive, vulnerable, and capable of tolerating just so many hits to our pride and self-esteem.

Instead of seeing how much pain someone can tolerate before the ensuing darkness, self-loathing, and frantic urge to escape triggers an alcohol or drug binge — or other expression of the desire to inflict self-injury — we need to be aware of the effect our behavior has been exerting. We need to continually strive to resolve the troubles in our own lives that may be causing us to put a partner, friend, or child down, or otherwise lash out.

Serving as an attentive, non-judgmental listener, who validates the reality of someone's problems; taking him or her along to the gym or for walks or runs; motivating him or her to embark on a fitness and proper nutrition program; and generally being kind, compassionate, and supportive — keeping our eyes and ears open for signs that someone else feels overwhelmed, helpless, or in pain, then seeing that he or she gets expert assistance if needed — are just a few of the ways each of us can pitch in to help prevent another heart-breaking tragedy, like the headliner of this past summer.

Susan Kross, DVM, a NYS-licensed doctor of veterinary medicine, independent journalist, and health/nutrition/fitness consultant, earned a "cum laude" B.S. in Biology [Psychobiology Track] from Yale University and a DVM with distinction from the NYS College of Veterinary Medicine [Cornell]. She served as a Sullivan County domestic violence hotline volunteer between 1992 and 2005.