The response to our front page story two weeks ago regarding the assault charges against a second grade teacher pitted two viewpoints against one other in a very sharp and revealing way.

Many on our online forum said that no one should ever lay a hand on a kid in school, no matter what the circumstances. Many others said exactly the opposite; that physical restraint not only is necessary but is in fact sometimes beneficial, and that teachers are hamstrung in their efforts to impart learning because of the prevailing "hands-off" attitude. These opposing views are a measure of a conflict that is very evident in American society today, and between them create a snapshot of our enduring ambivalence about having rules and having freedom.

We treasure an idealized notion of freedom and liberty. How exactly such ideals are described and regulated is a wide open discussion, but the right to be left alone is fundamental to many of what it means to be American. Until, of course, someone else's exercising of their "fundamental right" gets in the way of ours.

This is where it gets tricky. The same parents who bridle at the thought of a teacher laying a restraining hand on their kids don't feel that way when it comes to protecting their kids from school bullies. At that point they absolutely want someone in authority to intervene, physically, if necessary, to protect their kid.

We want rules, and we want them enforced — until, that is, they're enforced against us. There are thousands of examples of this very human pattern. We all know that talking on a cell phone while driving is very dangerous and we don't want other drivers doing it. But we have to call so-and-so right now, and it would be way too inconvenient to pull off the road to make the call. So, we break the rule that we don't want others to break.

In a school setting, we want quiet classrooms where our kids can learn. Disruptive kids should be calmed in some way or removed so that our kids can get on with the lesson. Except if the disruptive kid is our kid; then the whole thing turns on its head, because we know that our kid had a special reason for being disruptive and deserves to be dealt with in a special way. And no matter what our kid did, or how badly our kid was behaving, no one, except us, should ever lay a hand on them.

No one except a second grade teacher knows how difficult it can be to manage two dozen exuberant seven year olds in a setting very at odds with their nature, and no one but a parent knows the rage of hearing that someone has hurt their child. There are no easy answers when these two elemental forces collide.