Picture yourself being a non-smoking GI, preparing for an enemy attack. Positioned alongside you in a bunker is a bud, who — having exhausted his or her supply of nicotine gum — will go bonkers if unable to puff away on a cigarette within the next five minutes. Out of the corner of your eye, though, you can see they're already set to explode. Heavily armed insurgents meanwhile continue approaching your location at breakneck speed.

The fact that smoking remains commonplace among American soldiers today is disturbing and pathetic enough. But by far more pitiful is that, earlier this year, the Pentagon and Veterans Affairs Department pegged the problem as one requiring two decades to eliminate. Two decades?

In 2004, U.S. Surgeon General Richard Carmona, MD, identified smoking as the cause of 26 diseases, serious complications during pregnancy, and damage to virtually every cell in the human body. Two years later, data revealed that tens of thousands of people die each year from heart disease, lung cancer, and a list of other illnesses as a result of exposure to secondhand tobacco smoke.

This past week, the results of a big government study reaffirmed the benefits of smoking bans on reducing the risk of heart attacks in non-smokers. Naturally, the heavier the secondhand exposure, the more dangerous it is. But it also concluded was that there is no such thing as a safe level. Smoking and exposure to tobacco smoke are, in fact, among the most potent promoters of generalized, premature aging on the planet.

Alas, like roadside terrorist bombs, conditions, e.g., stroke, heart attack, and cancers of the lung, bladder, esophagus, mouth, throat, larynx — to name a few — destroy lives, too. Imagine someone surviving the trials/tribulations of the battlefield, only to be felled a few years hence by some horrible, tobacco-related ill. Add to that the likelihood that non-smoking soldiers outperform those hooked on the habit, plus the belief that the harmful effects of tobacco smoke, in any form, are magnified many times over by combat stress.

Research has furthermore demonstrated the detrimental effects of nicotine on short-term and long-term brain function. By reducing cerebral blood flow, nicotine affects mood, impairs learning and memory, and causes dementia. Lately, even thirdhand smoke —¬ that impregnating skin, hair, clothing, furniture, carpets, etc. — has come under intense scrutiny.

Surely Veterans Administration statistics on the number of former service people killed by or stricken with smoking-related diseases document the tragic story. But for some reason, nothing — neither the findings of costly studies, nor daily, real-world proof, depicting tobacco and tobacco smoke as ticking time bombs ¬— has had much of an impact on the powers that be in our military.

Since smoking cessation can be a huge challenge for anybody, indeed, it would be unwise — and induce undue stress — to insist war zone soldiers quit smoking overnight. But what about providing members of our armed forces with the support needed to kick the habit during basic training, or better yet, before recruits donned uniforms altogether?

Guaranteeing that health care dollars could be saved, let alone the disease-related suffering prevented, would surpass all expectations. Plus, given that someone's health is his or her most precious commodity, what better gift to give those who risk their lives to protect us than to implement measures to improve their present state of health, thus safeguarding it for the future?

It's a no-brainer to say that the two decades time frame proposed by the Pentagon and Department of Veterans Affairs needs to be scrapped. On behalf of our brave service men and women, their loved ones, and all the rest of us, let's join forces and demand that our lawmakers in Washington take action to see that smoking in the military is phased out as quickly as possible.

Having brought the well-being of our service men and women to the fore above, and with Halloween right around the corner, I feel compelled to comment here on the plan by an Orange County dentist, together with colleagues nationwide, to buy candy from children in early November, then ship it to our guys and gals in uniform overseas. The objective of the "candy buyback," as the endeavor has been dubbed, is to show support for our troops and give them "a little taste of home."

Of course, encouraging kids to send cards to our men and women in uniform and enticing children to reduce their sugar intake are both terrific ventures. But I cringe at the thought of soldiers digging into bags upon bags of candy, much of which contains the especially harmful form of sugar, high fructose corn syrup.

Just like our children, do our military guys and gals not have gums and teeth, susceptible to decay? Are not our service men and women already under enough stress, without the added overload eating oodles of sweets will create?

Rather than devote this column to the damage eating excess refined carbohydrates does to human minds and bodies, I refer you to an excellent overview provided by a June 2009 blog entry: "The Lakers' Lamar Odom, Sweet Tooth, and Erratic Play,", the work of world-renowned brain researcher/psychiatrist/author, Daniel Amen, MD, of Los Angeles. Dr. Amen drafted the blog entries, after viewing an ESPN news clip of 6'10", LA Lakers forward, Lamar Odom, pigging out on piles of candy.

The Lakers went on to win the NBA Championship this year. But Odom, a talented player, noted for his tendency to "space out" during games, had been a wild card. Dr. Amen connected Odom's erratic performance with his addiction to sweets, a condition that likewise continues plaguing millions of us, day in and day out.

But if I deplore sending candy to our people in the military, what, then, would I suggest the dentists do with all they will buy back in a few weeks?

The answer is simple. Given that honey kills more enemies — or catches more flies — than vinegar, the candy should be shipped to the terrorists in Iraq and Afghanistan. A specially wrapped package could be sent to Osama Bin Laden. Why not? Let the Taliban and Al Qaida enjoy the sugar highs and lows and other "fringe benefits" that indulging in American Halloween sweets has to offer. Besides, who knows? We soon might just have our enemies eating out of our hands.

Regarding edibles for our guys and gals in uniform, I recommend sending them the best balanced energy/protein bars money can buy.

Susan Kross is an independent journalist, human nutrition/fitness/health consultant, and licensed veterinarian.