Everyone's such a cranky-pants lately. Everywhere you look people are screaming at each other. Go to the grocery store and some frustrated mother is yelling at her kids, "I've just about had it with you two today!" The neighbors next door have been threatening each other with divorce for three weeks now. This morning at the deli, people were talking about that guy that just snapped his cork and flew his plane into a building over not getting his tax refund. "There's gonna be a lot more of that goin' on," said one guy. It makes me wonder how far a person can be pushed before they just go completely cuckoo. Last week in this fine newspaper we actually reported on a story about some teenager barking like a dog at a bunch of people pulled over for a traffic violation which distracted the police dog and ultimately caused a car accident to occur. It's like the whole world just quit their therapist and threw their meds out the window. As I was thinking about all of this the song on the radio reflected the moment with some raspy blues singer crooning, "Leave me alone, just everyone leave me the hell alone!"

My girlfriend commented the other day, "How do you know when you've had a nervous breakdown?" All I can do is roll my eyes, groan and nod my head with a smile. Face it — we've all been there. That moment when all the crap in your life starts making you twitch a little bit and before you know it you're yelling at the dog, "Keep it up and I'll have ya' gassed!" Maybe it's the weather — by late February everyone's been cooped up so long they're getting squirrelly from the cabin fever. My mother used to say to me and my siblings, "One of these days I'm just gonna get in the car and drive away and you'll have to decide amongst yourselves who is going tell your father when he gets home!" Another good one was, "You kids are gonna drive me to drink!" How many times have you heard that one in your youth? Ha! I'll admit I've been there. Through gritted teeth I've told my kids that Mommy needed a time-out and had to lock myself in the bathroom to keep my blood pressure from exploding out of my veins making a horrible mess all over the place.

A recent case comes to mind when I had a bit of a falling out with a bi-polar friend that is probably on the verge on going postal anytime now. It was a real train wreck, let me tell ya' — I became a punching bag for every displaced issue she had going on in her life. When they get on a roll like that don't even bother to try to respond, just back away like you're in a lion's cage and hope you don't get too clawed up. If you are going to start a fight, do it calmly and rationally, sticking to the point at hand and not dredge up everything the person's done to annoy you for the last 20 years complete with every swear word ever invented. Otherwise you just stick your foot in the wrong mouth and if it's in public (bonus!) you can clear the room faster than a skunk in an air conditioner. I'm actually the type of person that would stick around, grab the popcorn, and watch it like it's a spectator sport — where else you gonna get free entertainment like that outside of Jerry Springer? Maybe the DMV — that place is just loaded with people ready to pull out a tommy gun. It's all that built up road rage coupled with a ton of forms to fill out and the worst picture you've ever had taken that tends to put one over the edge, don'tcha think?

I firmly agree that if everyone's morning coffee came with a valium they could just pop in like a Tic-Tac the world would be much happier. Maybe if Jack Daniels were stocked in the soda machines that would take the edge off. Another good idea I highly recommend is hot tubs in all office buildings, afternoon nap time, oh, and hot fudge sundaes served up by R2D2 would be kinda' neat too. Before you know it everyone would be smiling like the Cheshire cat, opening doors for strangers, crime would disappear, and coupons for free stuff will fall from the sky. Yes, I know my therapeutic suggestions are a bit like Lucy VanPelt's five cent psychotherapy to Charlie Brown, but you have to admit it would relieve the stress. Maybe that's why around this time they have Mardi Gras and St. Patrick's day – the partying is our coping method to get us to spring.